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Take a sip of a fresh-squeezed mimosa as we learn about the coastal grandmother aesthetic. The phrase, which has come to prominence on TikTok and Instagram, refers to the crisp, monied, perennially summertime lifestyle of a beautiful older woman in a Nancy Meyers movie or an Eileen Fisher photo shoot. A coastal grandmother doesn’t care for thong bodysuits or ketamine. She likes heirloom tomatoes and going to bed early.
To understand the coastal grandmother, picture its opposite: the grimy style of Euphoria, with its tight fabrics, facial embellishments, hamster-size purses, and sheen of sweat, cum, sebum, and gasoline. Well! That’s alright for a young person. But some of us want nine solid hours of sleep in a room with the golden trifecta: a humidifier, an air purifier, and a diffuser. Those of us who were kids of the ’80s and ’90, raised on rom-coms and having now reached an age where our sexual arousal is directly tied to real estate listings, have found solace in the teak and linen world of the coastal grandmother.
Being a coastal grandmother means wearing loose, breathable fabrics and doing strength training by shifting a full glass of Sauvignon Blanc from hand to hand. It means shelling peas on a chaise longue, or getting up at six to drink coffee with local cream in the still, cool promise of the morning. Coastal grandmother is not about conforming to male heterosexual expectations of female beauty. It is about being able to spend north of $70 on a single unscented pillar candle. Or, at least, cosplaying as someone who has money to spend on simple, good things. It is understated, wealthy-person dress up.
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Lex Nicoleta, 26, popularized the term on TikTok. She tells Glamour that the coastal grandmother aesthetic is not an identity restricted to those born on a sloop or near a picturesque lighthouse. “You can be a coastal grandmother whether or not you live by the coast, and whether or not you’re a grandmother,” she explains.
She, a millennial living far from the salt air in inland California, is neither. And men can be coastal grandfathers. (Nicoleta points to Stanley Tucci as an example.) Coastal grandmother is not exclusive or elitist, she argues. It’s a style that attracts people of “all different ages, genders, races.” Imagine a little wooden gate on a stone pathway that leads to a seaside cottage. Now imagine the gate flung wide open. “It’s not like, ‘This wouldn’t apply to someone like you.’ It’s very, ‘Come one, come all, and be a part of it.’”
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Since Nicoleta started preaching the gospel of gran on TikTok, the term has gained traction with the many women in the great pantheon of coastal grandmothers. Diane Keaton posted a tribute video to the concept. Nancy Meyers shared an article that noted that “coastal grandmother” videos have been viewed a billion times on TikTok. The screenwriter joked, “That’s a lot of views for a pair of khaki pants, a GAP sweater, and a bucket hat!” Anne Hathaway shared a photo of herself in head-to-toe coastal grandmother apparel, captioning the post, “I have been ready for #coastalgrandmother chic since before TikTok was born. May this moment never end.”
Whether we welcome it or not, coastal grandmother has its well-moisturized hands on us. The great accusation leveled against TikTok trends is that they’re just that—they exist only in fierce online micro bubbles and don’t deserve media scrutiny. But there’s decent evidence that the thing TikTok calls coastal grandmother exists by other names outside of our phones. In fashion, we’ve seen versions of the coastal grandmother style trending for a long time—think of Hailey Bieber with her untucked oversized oxford shirts and peeking bra. Think of the “big pants” trend.
We’ve also seen a kind of coastal grandmother aesthetic gaining hold in the beauty space. Fraught conversations about “aging gracefully” are nothing new, but you can see triumphs of Team Coastal Grandmother in Jamie Lee Curtis talking about no longer sucking in her stomach and Justine Bateman defiantly celebrating the aging process.
Coastal grandmother is in step with other millennial trends: a powerful love affair with wine, a resurgence of book clubs, an interest in “whole” foods and simple cooking. Selena Gomez says she’s been off the internet for four years, an announcement that is sure to inspire more media abstinence. Gomez also has a cooking show, a TV series starring two grandpa types, and a talent for looking vulnerable in shawls. She’s officially more coastal grandmother than party girl pop star.
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In April, Spotify reported a 660%+ spike in user-made playlists with coastal grandma or coastal grandmother in the title or description. They feature songs showcased in Nancy Meyers movies, like Natalie Cole’s “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” and classic feel-delighted artists like Etta James, Norah Jones, James Taylor, and Hall & Oates. TikTok users have expanded on the idea, identifying the sub-aesthetics of coastal granddaughter, grand millennial, and coastal chic. “I’m a Midwestern straight man but I think I’ve found my aesthetic,” one user commented on Nicoleta’s original video.
Coastal grandmother is an attempted rejection of life online and an embrace of what is real and tactile and simple. She lives the good life—fresh oysters, garden-grown vegetables, cocktails at any time, warm sweaters, a bed with good linens. Eating well, drinking well, taking walks—those things are more clearly “living” than the scrolling and typing that constitute most of our days. If cottagecore is an aesthetic that rose during the pandemic due to its emphasis on myths and fantasy and being outside, coastal grandmother offers slightly less escapism but also far less effort. Of course, neither of these aesthetics lend themselves to unplugging. Coastal grandmother is about living the good life, but it’s also a lifestyle that depends on being heavily photographed and shared.
Seafood, liquor, neutral colors, and pleasant conversation—isn’t this, essentially, rebranded WASPy-ness? I had a very loving middle-class Jewish grandmother, and she was much more “meals from a box and polyester pants set” than crab bisque and raw linen. Most people, let alone grandparents, cannot draw a single line between their lives and Reese Witherspoon’s. Of course Ina Garten, who has perhaps lived the coastal grandmother lifestyle more demonstratively than anyone else, is Jewish. (So is Jeffrey.) Coastal grandmother risks seeming like an elevation of the way certain white people live, but Oprah, with her soft knits and luxurious garden, is the only person who can rival Garten for top grandma. (And neither Ina nor Oprah is actually a grandparent.)
Allegedly, a trust fund is not a prerequisite to join the lifestyle. “I’ll get comments like, ‘I want to be a coastal grandmother, but I’m on a budget,’ and that’s completely doable,” Nicoleta says. “It’s little things, like pick up some fresh flowers or throw on my coastal grandmother playlist and make dinner with your farmer’s market finds.” The traditional coastal grandmother is a person of unlimited means, but that’s the fantasy. Getting the aesthetic can mean just playing pretend a life of easy wealth.
Old or young, oceanside or landlocked, you can become a coastal grandmother by conjuring the sea in your mind, or perhaps with the help of the right white noise machine.
“It’s that feeling you get when you’re visiting your friend at the beach,” Nicoleta says. “It’s just this cozy, safe feeling.”
Jenny Singer is a staff writer for Glamour. You can follow her on Twitter.
