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Most of us were not invited to the Golden Globes. We did not go to the numerous after parties. We weren’t involved in the A-lister group chats, and we will probably never know who got smashed and who from The Bear hooked up with who from Oppenheimer. When it comes to celebrities – particularly the Hollywood variety, who these days like to keep things very buttoned up – everyone is tightlipped, afraid to let loose.
Thank god for awards show camera cuts, then, which provide viewers with ample opportunity to make an educated stab in the dark at what the stars are saying to each other when they think no one's looking (even though, obviously, the whole world is). The very accurate art of lip reading has become the ultimate award show sport – just as much as guessing who’ll win what and who’ll be the best dressed etc.
For example, at this year's Golden Globes, you cannot tell me that Taylor Swift didn’t zoom in on Jo Koy with her baby pink iPhone while muttering “a piece of shit.” And while we may never know what tea Selena Gomez was spilling to a shocked looking Swift at the table, it's fun to guess (“I asked to take a photo with Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner said no”, is what some are saying, although I think it looks more like, “She didn't itch my back… I am white woody… wombats, no…”).
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This isn't the first time lip reading has proven to be the ultimate awards show sport. Lest we forget last year's Grammy's whereby Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were caught in a tense yet inaudible exchange (he's since clarified that he was actually saying he was going to slip out of frame, much to her chagrin). Or when Swift and Phoebe Bridgers were talking about someone (a guy? a cat?) at the iHeartRadio Music Awards (“It's so good to have him around full time”). In fact, professional lip readers have recently begun racking up millions of TikTok views for their ability to decode celebrity whispers, which most often happen at awards shows, just because it's a time in which multiple famous people are shoved together in one room and plied with champagne.
Indeed, we may never know what goes on between the A-listers once the cameras stop rolling. But that doesn't stop us from trying, hard as we might, to decipher what's going on when they are.
