Chrissy Teigen Reflects on Being a 'People Pleaser': 'Never Want My Kids to Feel Like They Have to Perform' (Exclusive)

During the debut episode of her new Audible podcast, Self-Conscious, Chrissy Teigen opens up to guest Mel Robbins about her ongoing struggle with seeking approval — and teared up as she admitted she’s afraid her children will inherit her tendency to be a people pleaser. 

“Really scared of passing this along to my kids. I think that is the big realization for me is, I can't do this to my kids,” said Teigen, who shares four children — daughter Luna Simone, 8, son Miles Theodore, 6, daughter Esti Maxine, 2, and son Wren Alexander Stephens, nearly 7 months — with husband John Legend. 

“I don't ever want them to feel like they have to perform for everybody and be good all the time, but I know that sometimes I probably am that way. I do want them to be the most polite, and I don't want people to think that they're just celebrity a—hole kids,” Teigen, 39, said. “And so I might go harder the other direction to make sure that they don't come off that way.”

“And I really need to break that because — and this is another reason I'm in therapy — I'm okay with me getting the sh-- end of the stick on anything or living this life where I'm stressed and in pain, but I'm not okay with them.”

“I can see that really bothers you,” said Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The Let Them Theory. 

As Teigen shared, “I see how much my interactions with adults as a child affected me [on] so many different layers, from whether it was sexual or the reason I became such a people pleaser, and that was through sleeping with people.”

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 “It travels so far in my life … I ended up believing — sorry —” she paused, her voice beginning to break. “I ended up believing that I was for everybody and my body was for everybody, and it took a hold on every part of my life and as you can see, it still has a hold on me now, so I cannot imagine this for my kids.”

She continued, “I hope that they don't want to please everybody in life, and I hope that they know that their body is their own, their mind is their own, their actions are their own, and they can't control other people.” 

Audibly crying, Teigen declared, “I cannot have them live this way that I live.”

Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen is available on Audible, and along with Robbins, will feature Glennon Doyle, Peter Attia, Gabby Bernstein and more.